Sign Lady Expose'

At the beginning of the summer Karen noticed a lady walking up and down our street holding a sign. The first time it happened back in June she thought the lady was advertising an event, a store opening, etc. Well, when she started to make more frequent visits to our street my lovely wife became more concerned and also very intrigued.

Well, a few weeks ago sign lady shows up. This time Karen can tell she is targeting the house on the other side of the cul de sac from us. You see we live on one corner and this house is on the other corner. Karen was trying desperately to make out what the sign said. It was obvious that she was trying to relay a message to our neighbors home. Finally, she came into the Cul de sac and Karen could make out I Love You (in form of a heart) and someones name. She thought maybe Jim. Then she moved to the front of the house but across the street. This woman knows boundary limitations for restraining orders I suspect. Our first thoughts, "An Affair to Remember" but not in the romantic Cary Grant way. I thought, this chick was dumped and she's not letting go. I'm getting the play-by-play of this over the phone while I'm at work. Next thing Karen says is, "Oh my gosh, she's blowing kisses at our neighbors house". I'm like, call the police. Karen's like, and tell them what? A Looney is blowing kisses at our neighbors house? I said, Precisely! Karen says, she'll be gone by the time they come and they'll think I'm nuts. Besides she says, she's starting to leave. Oh Wait a minute, she's walking back and unrolling her sign again. Karen said she flashed the sign one more time then rolled it back up and walked off down the street. So like I said that was about a few weeks ago.

So yesterday, Karen is going out to the car to get something out of it and who is standing on our lawn but Lady Blowakiss. Karen yells over at her, "May I help you?" the lady responds, "No, you may not!". Karen replies, "Well, can I ask you what you're doing?", the lady responds, "I'm Protesting. I've called City Hall and they know all about this!". Karen goes, "What are you protesting?". Lady responds, "My daughter-in-law won't let me see my grandson and he's my best friend". Karen responds, "Well, I don't think they're home". Lady doesn't respond. I would hate to think she's been doing this the whole summer and my wife points out to her that her protesting is literally ineffective because her target is not home.

I for one am a bit relieved. I just had visions of a heartbroken paramour pulling an Amy Fisher in our hood. I just can't stop wondering how she feels making a public spectacle of herself is going to make them want to have her around their child.

I think it would be funny the next time she's out there is make a sign that reads, "I "heart" the Sign Lady" and stand across the street from her and point it at her.

Have a great day!